Small Peenie University – Admissions Report Subject: Cloud Strife Dean of Admissions: Miss Tifa Lockhart Date: [21/09/1998]
Assessment Summary: Cloud Strife arrived for his entrance evaluation at Small Peenie University. Dean Tifa Lockhart conducted the official measurement and psychological intake with precision and discretion.
Measurement Results:
- Flaccid Length: 2.3 cm
- Erect Length: 5.1 cm
- Girth (Erect): 3.4 cm
- Confidence Index: 3.2/10
- Nerd Quotient: 9.7/10
- Submission Readiness: High
Dean’s Comments: “Cloud’s heroic exterior conceals a textbook candidate for SPU. His measurements place him well within our elite micro bracket, and his emotional profile suggests high potential for transformation. I recommend immediate enrollment in the LootCrate Tier for structured discipline and guided growth.”
Next Steps: Cloud has been offered full admission pending subscription confirmation. 👉
Signed: Miss Tifa Lockhart Dean of Admissions, SPU
